Open House Series - No. 10
25 February 1988
Q. Another question: 'If, as Baba says, neither of these [Buddha or Christ] were avatars, and there has only been a total of eight or nine avatars in the history of humankind, including himself, how does your description of the church and Shan the Rising Light as avatars complement or disagree with this? In addition to this, what is your belief or understanding of the purpose of human beings on this Earth?'
Is it Sai Baba we are speaking about? I guess it is. There are many Babas, you see.
It's not that I want to come with a comment but – I am a teacher of truth. If it's Sai Baba we talk about, he has not got that kind of knowledge. He does not work from the Heart of the Hierarchy. He is an avatar, a lesser avatar, even if he has certain siddhis. He is not a great avatar and he has the knowledge of the Indian ancient Vedic tradition. He is not at all aware of the existence of the Hierarchy, or the knowledge that is given out now.
He is, however, an avatar of his kind – like many other avatars, greater or smaller, a beautiful soul. He has not got my knowledge and will never have it on this planet for, if we talk about Sai Baba, he is a visitor to this planet, a great visitor. He works outside the domain of the Hierarchy. It is a little paradox saying this because all work within the energy of the Hierarchy on this Earth, but not consciously. There are many spiritual organisations on Earth that say that their masters are greater than the Masters called Jesus and Buddha, and all that nonsense, and that their masters can bring you past the brink of death, past the Board of Karma, to their master. That's such nonsense.
If you really do understand the Divine Wisdom, the 'Theosophy' as we call it, such a thing is totally impossible for, as long as you are living on this Earth, you will meet that Board of Karma when you die, I can assure you that. There is no way of escaping the Board of Karma, and any 'master' who tells you this nonsense is not a Master – he is a fool, a nitwit, and there are many of them.
You perhaps remember that I have not spoken this way before – that is because I am used by Blavatsky tonight. Tomorrow, I will regret it of course. I am used by my old personality tonight, that is why I seem different to you.
Fools – that is what I call them. I know you don't like to hear this. I know you're laughing now, but some people don't like to hear that their mighty masters are not Masters at all.
There are a certain number of Masters of Wisdom on this Earth, and then we have occasional visitors to this planet. We have even Buddhas visiting this Earth from other planets, and They are great Light, but They know nothing of our laws, and They are allowed to bypass, to a certain extent, the physical laws of this Earth for a certain period of time only. They do not understand the way of life on this planet. They do not understand you and the way you tick, because They have not lived here, except for a few lives. They don't understand you as human beings, because They have not been human beings, except for a few lives. They are allowed to come here and do certain work for a certain period of time, invited by the Hierarchy. That does not mean They cooperate fully with the Hierarchy. They can cooperate fully with Their Hierarchy on Their planet and come as a visiting Buddha from another planet, working for that planet's Hierarchy. Still, [They] have to keep within the framework of the Law on this Earth, but not having the total understanding of human nature and mind.
But the Masters of Wisdom whom I work for, have that because They have been human beings on this Earth before becoming Masters of Wisdom – and They know you as They know Themselves, your defects and your wonderful qualities. But the Buddhas who come from other planets, do not understand any of this.
I don't know how much you understand about this, but if you have a space being from Jupiter, and he comes down to this Earth and he incarnates two times or three times, this human being will never be human. He will have a human flesh body – his mind will be his own. He has come here on a specific mission. He is not human. He has never been human – at least not for millions of years, billions of years – and he thinks and acts differently; enclothed in a body of flesh but still a total other being within. He does not understand your pain and suffering. He does not understand the way you act and why you cry. He has no feelings – usually no feelings at all. He is a mental being; he is a computer, a machine.
When you have a Buddha visiting this Earth, They have great love. They may utilise the Indian wisdom to teach from, especially in an Indian body, but They do not understand humanity. But They have a certain mission, because the Hierarchy needs the Light that They radiate.
I am saying that anyone who says this, does not know what he is talking about. Also, when Sai Baba says you can only be an avatar in an Indian body, that reminds me of when certain people say you cannot be a female Master, a Master in a female body. You immediately have to change sex. Who believes this nonsense? – only a male chauvinist, I can tell you that.
You see, my dears, I will now disclose something to you. I have been working on this Earth for millions of years. I have looked into many, many scriptures. I have been part of many religions but I have never, ever found the truth, and so much of it, as there is in Theosophy – the Theosophy that the great teachers Leadbeater and Annie Besant and Blavatsky, and others, brought forth. It comes from the Heart of the Hierarchy.
People write about the Masters of Wisdom, and they write about the Law of Karma, reincarnation, an avatar here, avatar there. I have not read so much baloney in my whole life, but I can't make you understand this because you haven't got my knowledge.
There is one thing you must understand: knowledge and understanding belong together. One day, you will understand what is true. There are many truths in one truth, and I have found truth from the Heart of the Hierarchy itself.
It is difficult to really have the contact to the Hierarchy, and write through It, but one thing I have noticed: if you want as much truth as you can get in book form – I don't say 100% true, no disciple is 100% infallible when writing – but if you want the best books on the market today, it is the old books from the old theosophists and Alice Bailey's books. Because, even if there are mistakes in Alice Bailey's books, on the whole, they are invaluable and contain quite a lot of the Divine Wisdom.
I would like you to understand, before we have a tea break – then you can run home as quickly as you can, the ones who don't like this talk. I advise you do, because I am going to continue tonight.
I am going to tell you to study from your heart and not from the mind alone. However great an avatar is, he is a human being, he is [not] infallible. Sai Baba is not a Master of Wisdom. He is one degree higher than my own soul, for the moment – at the moment. In 1992, we [become] equal on this planet. He is a fourth initiate in the flesh. I am the same very soon. We are human beings in the flesh, not infallible. However much ash comes dripping down the wall, it is not a proof of divinity. I have used all those tricks on Atlantis, that was some million years ago. I am not saying this is a trick, many people get healed by it. I am trying to see you change values in life.
It is not materialisation or dematerialisation of statues and clocks, watches and ash, that makes you a Master of Wisdom. It is how much love there is in that heart chakra and how much illumination of soul. The Masters have walked on this Earth, fifth and seventh initiates, and have never healed miraculously, have never materialised anything, have never spoken of anything illuminated. They have lived behind the surface and changed the face of the Earth.
You be very much aware that you do not blind yourself from what a person can do from the outside world. Sai Baba is a great soul; he's an avatar in his own right, but he is not a Master of Wisdom, and neither am I.
So, if you want the perfect being, you look past me and Sai Baba. You look to the Masters of Wisdom, the inner government of this Earth, and there you find truth and infallibility. It is for you to learn to contact the Masters yourself. The Masters utilise me and others to reach humanity, and for humanity to reach Them, but you really have to find your contact yourself one day.
India is full of illuminates who can materialise and dematerialise on the first and second initiation. They are not Masters of Wisdom for that reason. A Master of Wisdom is something you do not understand unless you approach that initiation yourself. A Master of Wisdom can never be described in words. When you stand before one, one day, you will notice the difference. In church, when I am used by the Master Himself, it is Master standing there, and you cannot get much closer, most of you, in this life or other lives to come.
When Master spoke through me to P*... sitting there behind P..., it was the Lord Maitreya Himself. That is as close as most of you will get for thousands of years to come. When you meet a Master of Wisdom, I hope you do one day, then you will see the difference between Him or Her, and me and other teachers on this Earth. There is a difference like between an insect and an elephant.
What I do, on behalf of the Master, I crush your illusions. I am well trained at that. Change your beliefs every day, that is the best thing. Never stagnate, and never, ever consider a human being a god or you will be sorely disappointed. But you are to respect and honour your teacher, and what I like about the Sai Baba devotees is they learn one thing: they learn to love another human being more than they love themselves. That alone is worth it. In that alone, he is succeeding – nothing else that he is doing is important.
If a guru can make his people love him as much as they love God, that guru has succeeded. That is the Grace of God, to succeed with that. That is his mission, like every other guru's mission, to teach the Word of God in his or her own way, and to make people love them wholeheartedly, devotedly, because that opens the door to you loving the even greater, greater beings, the Masters of Wisdom and Their greater Masters, Buddha and Christ. For you love all these great beings through your guru – that is how it starts on this Earth.
Yes, my dears, I have spoken a little bit too long but never mind. Have a cup of tea and think about what I've said – think.
The Master told me, when I sat down in this chair today meditating, philosophy is teaching people one thing: to think, if nothing else. And that is what the whole thing is all about. Think, reason. Don't fall for any crap that you hear, not even my crap – think. And when you hear things that you think are quite strange, take them or leave them, whatever you want, as long as you think and do something about it.
Yes, my dears, we'll continue just for another 20 minutes and then we'll call it a day. You can have more information, more tea and coffee here.
Q. The question that I was referring to, concerning Christ and Buddha not being regarded as avatars, continues in this way: 'In addition to this, what is your belief or understanding of the purpose of human beings on this Earth?'
Human beings on this Earth mean that Earth, as a planet, has been chosen as a valuable school of suffering, pain and misery for a certain number of souls who need to undergo Earth lives to become compassionate Masters of Wisdom – if not reaching completely that state of illumination, at least becoming what we term 'disciples in soul'. When I refer to disciples here tonight, it has nothing to do with disciples of gurus. I have forgotten to explain, because there are newcomers here, that I am not talking about devotees or disciples of gurus and spiritual teachers. I am referring to disciples, as a term used by the Hierarchy, concerning initiated souls of a certain level of divine understanding. And we have human beings on this Earth, living here to learn through pain, and in between, spurts of joy.
Many people who reach discipleship think that pain is over and done with. They think, 'Now we have been initiated by Christ, He will help us. He will relieve our burdens. He will pay a salary, so we can live in a nice house and do nothing else but serve Him', or what they term serve Him: sit in a chair and read books, whatever, watch telly. No – a disciple is a human being with a soul that works much harder than other human beings, not always physically, but with mind.
See, the evolution is long on Earth. To begin with, the lives are primitive, much physical labour and hardship, not much mind, not much education. Then a human being advances, one step after the other, and halfway, he becomes an aspirant. An aspirant is a higher developed human being who has spurts of life from soul descending into him or over him, and mind is starting to be developed. Such human beings are working, when they come a little bit further onto the path of evolution, very often unselfishly for a good cause, really hard working good people, but still without any understanding of God's Laws and the Divine Wisdom; not even thinking about any other life than the physical life; no doors open to inner life.
And so, when you have become an aspirant, sometimes you can get clairvoyant abilities, but they don't necessarily teach you anything, except that there is life after death, because the great teachers do not manifest on the astral levels. They manifest on mental levels and soul levels. You cannot reach the Hierarchy on the astral levels, except that you have a well-developed mental body, and then Master can appear before you in between the astral and mental level, in order to speak to you and contact you more easily.
A human being then walks on this path of evolution for many, many lives, thousands of lives, has been perhaps an aspirant for 500 incarnations before approaching the path called the Probationary Path, where the Master has observed his progress for several incarnations, working hard for a charitable cause, a good cause. Whether it's in politics or anything else, it does not matter.
We have many, many very good people who are very unselfish on this Earth. They are usually higher aspirants, people who want more than just an ordinary life, living for themselves only. They are working to help others, relieve others of misery and burdens. They can go into the causes like protecting animals, creating music, better education and so forth. When you have then walked on this Earth for a very long time, you are being chosen by the Karmic Board and the Christ to become a disciple of soul, that is, the soul is chosen. When that happens, you can actually leave the Earth.
It is not often seen – it will be seen in the New Age, that people with the first initiation can astrally ascend, and will leave the planet Earth and be transferred to other planets. But it hasn't been [like that] on this Earth until now. You had to reach the third initiation to leave this Earth for, at the third initiation, your soul had learned compassion and love to a certain degree and also would be influencing the personality, have a good grip in the personality, which would be linked permanently to soul. But you are not saved, if that is what you understand by initiation, until you reach the fourth. Until you reach the fourth and a little bit into the fifth – there are three to four stages of the fourth – you are not what we term a wholly positive human being. You can still suffer from bouts of depression and moods, and be temperamental and irritable and so on.
Between the fourth and the fifth, you lose human characteristics. Your soul is descending more and more and influencing the personality to such an extent that your personality's characteristics disappear one by one, illuminated by the soul. When you are a fourth initiate, you become total light. Yogananda was a fourth initiate, if you remember Yogananda Paramahansa – excellent, wonderful guru – one of the real ones. He was a fourth initiate. He was pure light, and he exhibited this light in his life and his teaching. He had a very great understanding of Christianity and Buddhism, and could merge the light of the east and west. You can't do that unless you are such a high initiate.
But there is a very long way between a fourth and a fifth initiate. There can be one life, there can be seven, but it is between the fourth and the fifth that you start to exhibit the powers of a Master of Wisdom. You can get the powers to materialise, dematerialise, levitate (other than the saints' levitations); different siddhis, but these siddhis have also been given to initiates and disciples of lower degrees. These siddhis are no proof of high initiations. If the light is not there, the great light, you can be a first initiated disciple exhibiting the same gifts.
A fourth initiate is a little sun. A Buddha is a great sun, radiant sun. A third initiate can exhibit this sun at times but it is not permanent. In a fourth initiate, the sun is permanently there, unless it is disguised on purpose by the Hierarchy. And it has been disguised on purpose by the Hierarchy, when the Hierarchy wanted to protect an initiate.
When an initiate has to work in silence, behind the surface, you will not know that that initiate is a fourth or fifh initiate. The sun has been disguised. But in normal cases, a fourth initiate is a little sun. A Master of Wisdom has incarnated thousands of incarnations; thousands of incarnations on other planets as well. The Masters of Wisdom that we have visiting and working on this Earth, were initiates already before They came down here millions of years ago.
It may sound easy, when I am talking about the evolutionary path, but it is not easy at all. And you cannot jump except that you are on a certain soul level, and then, by utilising certain formulae and techniques, you can jump but not before. You cannot jump from primitive man stage to aspirant stage, from aspirant to discipleship – impossible. When you are an initiate disciple, you can jump, if the Master allows it, and that is what They allow people to do in Shan the Rising Light and other focal points like that energy level. People are jumping from one level to another. I know, because I see the effects that people are jumping ten to twenty incarnations when they follow the techniques and formulae the Hierarchy has given out, because the Hierarchy trains disciples in Shan the Rising Light. They train aspirants and probationaries to be disciples, because They need true and conscious disciples. Because we don't only train disciples, but we train them to be conscious of the Hierarchy, of the existence of the Hierarchy; how to cooperate with the plan; how to neutralise karma; how to open the chakras harmlessly by removing dross, and so forth.
I am not saying we are the only organisation that works with neutralising karma, neutralising dross, but we are the only organisation on this Earth which works with this frequency of light. It has always been this way on this Earth. The Hierarchy does not need millions, or hundreds of thousands of disciples. They need a certain number, and that number has more or less always been the same.
We have other disciples working in other parts of the world, but they do not work with this frequency of light. It is a totally new frequency of light. We don't even know what to call it. It is a merging of Maitreya and Gautama. It has not been known before and the Avatar of Synthesis, Who works through this light, has never worked here before.
We do not know what that light frequency is, we just know what effects it has. And I am seeing the effects daily, and I see it at the services especially. For that matter, you may not have the karma, or the purpose of your life may not be that you could benefit from this frequency. I am talking this way, not to try to get you into Shan the Rising Light. I am explaining that Shan the Rising Light frequency has never been known on Earth before. It has taken the Hierarchy millions of years to create it. Mankind had to be ready for it, otherwise they couldn't absorb it – it would have been useless just a hundred years ago. The frequency is here and it's growing, and people will ascend on this Earth in thousands because of this frequency that we are relating to.
It is not the same frequency that Summit Lighthouse work with. They do marvellous work, something similar in trying to neutralise karma, remove dross and getting them acquainted with the Hierarchy. It is not that frequency. We all have our frequency, and this light frequency is the highest I have ever worked with on this Earth. And it is, all over the planet, the highest frequency, because it is now that it is created.
But it is not all people who can take this frequency in this lifetime. You have to purify yourselves before you can take that frequency. It is by no means an ego-centred statement – it is a fact. In Shan the Rising Light, we work through the church. If people want intellectual training, we have to advise them to go to the Theosophical Society, to Goodwill people or other good organisations or groups. We don't work this way in Shan the Rising Light, in this incarnation. We advise our people to study the books already written, because we can never teach that much knowledge in such short courses that we have. We expect our people to read, understand the knowledge, and be trained to utilise this knowledge, apply it practically. That is what we term the 'Shan Dharma Philosophy': apply the knowledge practically.
But it is not all people who can do it in this life. Few people can. We have been told we will attract two to three thousand disciples in this incarnation. It is perhaps, to you, a little number, but it is disciples. It is not a little number and they have to be trained through Shan the Rising Light to, in the next incarnation, do other things. Of those disciples and aspirants, most of them will never stay in Shan the Rising Light after the training. They will never work in the church or in the churches, the way we do. That is only for a small number of people. Most of the people we train are meant to work with that frequency of light out in the outer world, creating their own group work, light work. Anything you work with, you will have this frequency in your work. But the ones that become the servers will speed up their development rather hastily and we see, as the Lord D.K. promised 30 to 40 years ago, that people's souls are being initiated externally, not any more on the inner levels but on Earth, all the way down in their personality.
I cannot explain more tonight. I will explain when we talk about initiations but I will advise you, if you are interested to read and learn more, to read Alice Bailey's book, Initiation Human and Solar. We utilise that book rather a lot. But reading those books, and not having the understanding, and not having the heart developed to understand the knowledge, will not lead you much further than you are now.
You see, many people think that it is enough to read books and they gain the knowledge. It is far from it. If you don't read with your heart, if you don't understand the Divine Wisdom, you will certainly not understand Alice Bailey's books nor the theosophical books. They are written for a very high level of understanding. Also Steiner's books have to be read with a very well-developed mental body – he was a great initiate.
You must understand that there are books on this Earth that are written for all levels of soul development. We do not advise any new beginner to start with Alice Bailey, for that reason, but start with other books written by disciples that are trying to explain Alice Bailey's books and the theosophical books.
The purpose of human beings on this Earth is, therefore, to perfect the souls; for these souls to leave the Earth; a sojourn for a certain period of time, and go to other planets and continue. For this Earth is a very, very difficult planet to live on, and on this Earth you will not remain unless the Board of Karma wants you to stay. I have said this several times. You will not be asked to remain if you are not very tough material because, if you think that misery has ended here, whether we walk into a golden era or not, we shall have misery again after that. We have not ended misery. Because we enter a golden era for one thousand years or 500 years, does not mean that you have saved this planet. This planet will see more misery.
We have had several golden eras here. We have lived in peace and harmony, and the miserable times continued, and we shall still have miserable times on Earth. And the people who are remaining here will be strong and will be trained to take what is expected on this planet.
So, I just want to make you understand that some souls will leave this Earth and continue on other planets. But some will remain here and continue in this school, and become Masters here, become Christs and Buddhas here, and then leave. These Christs and these Buddhas are outstanding. They have been through human evolution to reach Bodhisattvaship and Buddhaship. There are not many who have done it up to now, that is how difficult it is. There is a long way between Master of Wisdom and Buddha, even if things are speeded up. I will just remind you that the path of evolution is very long and that, when I say that I am an initiate, it has certainly taken me some time to get there.
When I see that your souls – you have certainly also walked on this Earth for quite a long time to become initiated souls. Many people could get the impression that initiation is easy to get but it is very difficult, not to mention all the times you fall in between and lose it in your personality. When I say, therefore, that I am an initiate, don't look at this body. This body is not the initiate. My soul is the initiate. This body is not the initiate until the soul has taken over this body completely which it will, to a certain extent, later in this life. You must understand that a personality can be somewhat an initiate but the soul is the initiate.
There is a very long, long way from you to your souls. Perhaps you think that your soul is sitting just above your head. Level-wise, plane-wise, your soul is very far away from most of you. There is the barest thread of light that connects you, the barest minimal thread of light. But, in an initiate of the third degree, the soul is very close and the link is very broad. At the fourth initiation, the soul and the personality merge, the light is total all over, but that is also very difficult.
Q. I'll have a last question, my dears, because I can see we're running out of time: 'What prehistoric knowledge is available to the present?'
The Vedic scriptures and Theosophy tell of time on Earth far away and in the past, very far past. Alice Bailey does not talk much about the past on Earth, but the theosophical books do and, of course, the old Indian scriptures – difficult to get hold of however.
Q. 'And how is this knowledge reverberated from pre-history to the present?'
Through the teachings given out by the Hierarchy now. In every century, the last twenty-five years, a new impulse is given. Last century, the Theosophical Impulse was given. Exactly 1977 – it really started in 1975 – the new impulse was given through Shan. That is the impulse that the whole world is working under, whether you like to hear it or not. It is that impulse which is creating, at the moment, every place, healing centre, new structure, new education. It is that theosophical new impulse, called the Shan Impulse, that hit the Earth in exactly 1975, some months before the hundred year day of the Theosophical Society. I stood there again. It was pre-ordained by myself, 90 years ago, that I would stand in the Theosophical Society exactly 100 years later – and I stood there two months before the birthday.
That day, the impulse hit the Earth becoming, in 1987, a much greater impulse and the Shan the Rising Light impulse. The Lord Maitreya Himself has sent an impulse unto this Earth that is lasting here for many thousands of years. That was also destined. It is exactly 2,000 years [since] the Lord Maitreya sent His impulse through Jesus. The Lord Gautama had to come down to start it 500 years earlier. That Shan the Rising Light impulse, which descended on Earth in 1987, is creating the light and the energy so that the Lord Maitreya, in 500 years, can incarnate.
That's how it goes. I will end again by emphasising – every last 25 years of a century, the Hierarchy sends an impulse onto Earth. It was that impulse that has created all the spiritual life on this Earth up until now, till 1975. Everything – the I Am Movement, Summit Lighthouse; all the groups we have no names of; Steiner – everyone is under that impulse. In 1975, the impulse again. There is not one group on this Earth that starts on this planet, if it wasn't for this impulse.
But it coincided with an even greater impulse, the Christ Impulse itself. And the Christ, the Lord Maitreya, talked about this light, the Rising Light, through Alice Bailey, thirty years ago. But it did not physically manifest until December, that New Year's night, and become physically focused on Earth, before 1987. And it is that impulse that will take us into the Aquarian Age and create the Music of the Heart, the New World Religion which is part of the great religion of Earth. It is that impulse. And even if you do not understand anything of this, that is what you will learn.
In a couple of hundred years from now, you will learn this. Of course, it is always easier to believe when a hundred - two hundred years have passed. Very easy to believe. The light in the world will be strengthened, and you will find healing centres and healing groups, and positively working groups all over the planet, just growing up like mushrooms. And it does not matter whether you understand or not, it is just a fact and you are in it.
But the church is one thing, and I am one thing, and your discipleship with your guru is something else. Because the impulse has been given, the Hierarchy does not mean that millions of people will stream into the church of Shan the Rising Light. No, you will get this impulse that the Hierarchy has sent to Earth through your teacher, to some extent, to some vibration, the vibration you need to develop, because you could not take my vibration. Very few people can, and that is why people are coming and leaving, because my vibration is stronger than you can ever take for too long a time, except the very few people who can take it. They are trained to take it.
If you had not been with me a hundred years ago as a theosophist, you would never take it. It started then, and that's just it. You are not meant to take it either. I just explain this to you. You can go home and say I am an egomaniac, crazy woman after this. Who cares about all your stupid thoughts and feelings?
I am talking about fact here, and fact is that you could never take to be near me for too long a time, because you would burn to cinders. Only a few elected people can. I can tell you what burns you to cinders: it is your thoughts and feelings. They will kill you when that light descends for too long at a time and, my dear friends, what happens tonight is nothing. What happens in four or five years, we can talk about it. And that is why I train a group of people to take this vibration of light – it's normal physics and chemistry – and then you will be able to live in the village that we are building, or the community**, for a certain time.
Most people will not be able to live there for too long at a time.
And that is why – that's the last thing I will say – that you cannot be near a fourth initiate. I will now tell the truth, because I perhaps will not speak again of these matters. You could not live with a fourth initiate for too long. You can never take that frequency of light. It brings out everything that is dark within you, all dross and darkness – your shadow.
P... has told me that, in Sai Baba's ashram in India, people are given a lot of confrontations, difficulties. Sai Baba is water, water in comparison to the light I will radiate on this Earth. Water – and it has started already.
And that is why I am telling you, my dear friends, that I am giving you, on behalf of the Hierarchy, a chance in this life to be redeemed to a certain extent, to neutralise dross and to be illuminated to a certain extent, if you would just take this incarnation and work with formulae and techniques given by the Hierarchy.
You do not understand anything at all – that is why I am laughing now – nothing at all, not even my own people. Shall I tell you why I am laughing my dears, and why I love you so much? You have to go through crucifixion and pain to be with me in this life, pain, but you will also get up, up. That's what counts on this Earth, isn't it P...? Because you have been sitting in this dross for so long that you have got used to it, but it is not pleasurable for that reason – it is terrible.
There are two terrors on this Earth. There is the terror of negativity and the terror of light. I would choose the terror of light. I didn't even want to come and talk here tonight. I am afraid of my own soul, you see. I can't take the light myself. I have been sick now for years because I have to work with this light. I am sick tomorrow, presumably lying in bed all day tomorrow because of this. I came tonight because my soul wanted it. I didn't. My personality didn't. My personality was screaming and crying when I sat down on this chair. It wanted out as quickly as possible, for when I have channelled the light of my soul and the Hierarchy, I am sick and when I say 'sick', you don't understand what sick is.
It is when all the chakras are rolling and churning and whirling, and headaches and pain, explosions in the mind, in the brain, and light phenomena around your head and in your body. And blood – we'll have to see what happens to the blood within the veins.
I am telling you, my dears, that the pain I undergo, you will undergo to a certain extent as well, to a minor extent. Isn't that true P... my dear? There is no other way.
And that is why I tell you, just come to the church, the ones who want a little bit of Shan the Rising Light, and you can slowly get more light by becoming a server. But few will ever manage to become an inner group because – that light, wouldn't be able to take the light simply. And that is why it is no use to be jealous of Wheel 1, because Wheel 1 has been established by the Hierarchy and no-one else will be able to take that frequency. And they will take it. Whether it crushes them to pulp or not, that is the soul's desire. There is absolutely no need of being jealous of anyone in Shan the Rising Light who is in a kind of higher degree, because you couldn't take it.
Thank you my dears.
* Whenever you see P..., please know that a person's name has been removed for privacy reasons.
** As time passed, it became more and more clear that the Lord Maitreya and the Hierarchy wanted people who were frequenting The Theosophical Fellowship not to live in an isolated community but in the community at large. The plan became to create a spiritual/meditation retreat on the land of Shigatze where people could come, for example for a three month stay, to study meditation and spiritual subjects, and then take that with them into their life. With Ananda passing over in 2002, these plans were put on hold, but it is still anticipated and hopefully, one day, a successor to Ananda and her work can bring that to fruition.